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CLARE'S LETTER TO TAYLOR:
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Addressed: John Taylor Esq., Waterloo Place, Pall Mall, London.
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Helpston May 5. -25
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Dear Taylor
I delayed to answer your letter till a proof arived to prove that you had not forgotten the promise of sending one & getting on with the book but as nothing of that kind come I must write without it—I had hopes when I recieved your last that your resolves to get on with the poems were in earnest—it is not for the mere gratification of seeing it out that makes me urgent but it is for more substantial reasons which I shall not lengthen the letter to explain—for I am weary of writing or talking about my conserns—Anticipation is a pleasant feeling but it borders on dissapointment which is a very unpleasant one therefore I have waited & hoped-for the best & as I hate offensive correspondence I pass over the unpleasant part of ours as well as I can I might be under a mistake & if so the feelings they excited woud be irritating yet I feel now the negligence in getting out the poems woud make any one complain & whatever harm may come from complaining of matters that appear to claim no commendation I am sure no good can come from speaking in their praise—when I feel anything I must speak it I know that my temper is hasty & with that knowledge of myself I always strive to choke it & soften hard opinion with reasonable interpretations—but put yourself in my place for a minute & see how you woud have felt & written yourself & if you feel that you shoud have acted otherwise then I will take it as an example & strive to correct my failings & be as perfect in an imperfect world as I can
I have no desire to seek another publisher neither do I believe any other woud do as well for me as you may do much less better but when obligation is sought or offered it sells the kindness therefore I will go no further on that head & if I did drawing comparisons from others woud not be adding praise if the complaints of authors are to be noticed & why shoud they not have cause for their lamentations as well as Jeremiah—all I have to say is that if you want to get out of the job of publishing my poems you may tell me so & I will seek another & trust to providence, but if you have no desire to turn me adrift the speedy publication of my poems will gladly convince me that I was mistaken & I shall be happy to prove that you are my friend as usual—here With me endeth the matter I shall say nothing further I dont like to write under such feelings & I wish to get out of them as soon as I can
I beg that Miss Taylor will accept my kindest remembrances & I am heartily glad to hear that she recovers so much—as for my part I cannot get rid of my complaint at all it leaves me & returns again as virulent as ever last week I was much worse & this week I am much better agen but I have little hopes it is not lasting I shall be very happy to recieve Mrs W. Wrights kind present of the flowers which she so readily assented to give me & will as gladly send her anything that I posses in return I wish you woud tell her so—I dont think it Woud be too late to send a sucker of the White Provence Rose provided it were lapt up in wet moss & not kept on the Journey the Tiger lily too woud not hurt if sent in the same manner moss keeps the wet like spunge & if this is not to be had fine hay well wetted woud do nearly as well I hope you will tell her as I have been expecting them this 3 weeks I shall send my flowers to her in Henderson's parcel to Milton House for I fear they will be too bulky for any other conveyance & not worth the expense of carriage
I will conclude with the hopes of seeing a proof of the Shepherds Calender in a few days—I told Hessey that I was ready to join the Young Lady in writing the History of Birds but I have heard nothing about it & I have such a fear of my own inability to do anything for such a matter that I cannot enter into it with any spirit as I find that I dont know half the Swimmers & Waders that inhabit the fens & I understand that there are a many of them strangers to the Natural History book makers themselves that have hitherto written about it
I am dear Taylor
Yours sincerely
JOHN CLARE
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Helpston May 5. -25
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Dear Taylor
I delayed to answer your letter till a proof arived to prove that you had not forgotten the promise of sending one & getting on with the book but as nothing of that kind come I must write without it—I had hopes when I recieved your last that your resolves to get on with the poems were in earnest—it is not for the mere gratification of seeing it out that makes me urgent but it is for more substantial reasons which I shall not lengthen the letter to explain—for I am weary of writing or talking about my conserns—Anticipation is a pleasant feeling but it borders on dissapointment which is a very unpleasant one therefore I have waited & hoped-for the best & as I hate offensive correspondence I pass over the unpleasant part of ours as well as I can I might be under a mistake & if so the feelings they excited woud be irritating yet I feel now the negligence in getting out the poems woud make any one complain & whatever harm may come from complaining of matters that appear to claim no commendation I am sure no good can come from speaking in their praise—when I feel anything I must speak it I know that my temper is hasty & with that knowledge of myself I always strive to choke it & soften hard opinion with reasonable interpretations—but put yourself in my place for a minute & see how you woud have felt & written yourself & if you feel that you shoud have acted otherwise then I will take it as an example & strive to correct my failings & be as perfect in an imperfect world as I can
I have no desire to seek another publisher neither do I believe any other woud do as well for me as you may do much less better but when obligation is sought or offered it sells the kindness therefore I will go no further on that head & if I did drawing comparisons from others woud not be adding praise if the complaints of authors are to be noticed & why shoud they not have cause for their lamentations as well as Jeremiah—all I have to say is that if you want to get out of the job of publishing my poems you may tell me so & I will seek another & trust to providence, but if you have no desire to turn me adrift the speedy publication of my poems will gladly convince me that I was mistaken & I shall be happy to prove that you are my friend as usual—here With me endeth the matter I shall say nothing further I dont like to write under such feelings & I wish to get out of them as soon as I can
I beg that Miss Taylor will accept my kindest remembrances & I am heartily glad to hear that she recovers so much—as for my part I cannot get rid of my complaint at all it leaves me & returns again as virulent as ever last week I was much worse & this week I am much better agen but I have little hopes it is not lasting I shall be very happy to recieve Mrs W. Wrights kind present of the flowers which she so readily assented to give me & will as gladly send her anything that I posses in return I wish you woud tell her so—I dont think it Woud be too late to send a sucker of the White Provence Rose provided it were lapt up in wet moss & not kept on the Journey the Tiger lily too woud not hurt if sent in the same manner moss keeps the wet like spunge & if this is not to be had fine hay well wetted woud do nearly as well I hope you will tell her as I have been expecting them this 3 weeks I shall send my flowers to her in Henderson's parcel to Milton House for I fear they will be too bulky for any other conveyance & not worth the expense of carriage
I will conclude with the hopes of seeing a proof of the Shepherds Calender in a few days—I told Hessey that I was ready to join the Young Lady in writing the History of Birds but I have heard nothing about it & I have such a fear of my own inability to do anything for such a matter that I cannot enter into it with any spirit as I find that I dont know half the Swimmers & Waders that inhabit the fens & I understand that there are a many of them strangers to the Natural History book makers themselves that have hitherto written about it
I am dear Taylor
Yours sincerely
JOHN CLARE
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